Monday, July 27, 2009
I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi or even smile at me because I know, even if its just for a second, that I've crossed your mind.
i missed you.
whisper from my subtle heart...
1:11 AM
Sunday, July 26, 2009
eh people! im back lah sey. yes for after nearly a week k im sick. having high fever suck corneck ehk.esh. for after so long lah not getting sick. and guess wad? this will be my sixth days of not sedoting ciggs ehk.yes taniah raizah kamu harus bertahan supaya puasa nanti boleh maintain ehk. lagi pon u people nak tahu ape? madagascar jumpe ciggs pat my bag ehk. i just came back from home and feeling kinda shagged so i sat for awhile watching tv with the sisters and he was at the kitchen with mother. my phone rang so as i was digging for it inside my bag.....
MADAGASCAR:ey kau isap rokok ehk!!!!!
anak soleha: (took a moment to realize that he was talking to me)
ahhh??tak ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
MADAGASCAR: kau jgn tipu aku ehk! tu ape! kau kasi aku tu kotak rokok! kau kasi aku!!
anak soleha:eh tak ah ni kwn punye lah dier tumpang jeeeee. (passing him that box with full of heart pain)
MADAGASCAR: abeh kalau dier tumpang drug kau tolong? ni aku tak nampak ehk. kalau aku nampak kau isap rokok!! depan HAYALAK ramai ehk aku sepak muke kau!!!!
and bla bla bla my mom was crying as normal. yahlah i paham lah i disappointed her i know how she feels. hmph! and so i went straight to my room feeling so malu lah not takot tau.....hahahaahahaah.
i think it's time to stop this crap that i been having it as my bad habit ah. and it doesnt do any good lagi.
so insyallah i'll try to stop ehk. and yey! da nak hari raye sey. tak sbr.
anyways i apis wedding pictures dahhhh just that there something wrong with the dunnoe what that im not able to visual shits here. ehhe. next time perhaps.k lah i need my sleeping beauty.
mimpi indah semua.
semalam aku rindu giler kat kau.
den nari kau tegor aku. best kan.
are you feeling me?? *pout*
whisper from my subtle heart...
12:03 AM
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Selamat pengantin baru kepade apis and arfa yer. mcm biase ah aku kental takde camera kene tunggu lagi ah org nak passing passing kan.i gotta say it's very tiring this time cause we helped alot this time round. no tangkap jambz or just sitting around and doing nothing but to see guys ehk. all that no more. akak jadi makcik kaypoh pat dapor and jage dessert bersame yang lain2 ehk. cute kan kite. yang penting after every thing was over kite ramai2 kopek durian ehk dgn baju kebaya tu jugak. mcm feeling2 kampung style ah tu konon. but hey it was so fun and kecoh. keluarga SERI sape tak kenal.annnnd apis kawin aku yang frust. mcm biase jugak makciks makciks tanye tanye kan bile aku peh turn. boypen takde nak kawin ape. yang penting dorang mati mati nak match make aku ehk. tak ke irritating tu? irritating nak mamps ehk. sumpah aku tak desperate ehk nak kahwin. nak ade boypen je tak ble accept the fact yang aku attached. ni nak pk pasal ni sume. adddooooiiiiiiiiii. but if it comes why not kan. sometimes i do wanna feel loved by someone. to get pampered by someone okayyyy. i do want to have someone by myside each and everyday of my life. to grow old together and still loving each other stronger each day. isn't it great? i miss those times being in love and doesn't care anything as if the world is all mine. wooohoooo. best kan. yang penting aku tak pernah dapat bunge ehk. ahhhh aku seorang perempuan yang tak pernah dapat bunge ehk. kalau nampak pompuan lain dapat nanti "eleh bunge biase je " "chey dapat bunge seh...alah bunge jeeee nanti busuk jugak" tapi dalam hati... eehhh best nyer kalau lah aku yang dapat......HAHAHAHAHA. kental ehk aku. okay bye wa yaw chee fan. jemput ah.
whisper from my subtle heart...
3:29 PM
i dreamt of something that is so beautiful but come to think of it. it's scary.how can i dreamt of you again? why? why? today i'm stuck at home. doing wad? babysitting lah ape lagi. supposely going swimming with gf but mother and father down with high fever boleh due due eh high fever and poor me gotta do the cooking the babysitting and this baby is just eight months old but he's too active sia. omg he can run about when he's inside the walker. yelah cute memang cute tapi active nak mampos penat siot. and guess wad it's my first freaking time ehk siang ikan. raizah siang ikan ah sey. raizah masak ah sey. power kepeeee. i told my mom if like this how housewife life is i think two or maybe one kid is enough for me and i think i wanna still be working after getting married. no no to housewife ehk. stop it siak. but yea kite merancang TUHAN yang menentukan. tui pu tui? and i feel so stressed and fucked up now. don't asked me why. k see ya later alligator.
whisper from my subtle heart...
1:34 PM
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
And today i don't know why i just have this urge blogging about you. after so long i still think and pondering why. why i was told to go. when i know that i did nothing wrong. no reasons was told when i demand for it. when all you could say was NOTHING, DUNNO and the best part was I'M NOT IN A GOOD STATE. walllah!! after all the steps we walked i never thought that you could do me this way. i know i'm not the best. but all i want is the best for you and giving you the best in me. the bestest in whatever i could give. all i want is to give you happiness, seeing you smile, hearing your laughters. even how tired how bad my day was, when i see those smiles hearing your voices and those laughters, it's like a magic like a painkiller every problems or sadness i have just go away. it sucks when i woke up each day knowing that you are no more in my life. i can't see those face those sweet eyes of yours and your gigi taring.
each day i put a smile. laugh like there's no one around me. act like i'm a strong and independent. but who knows that behind those smile there's this heart that got crushed and been hurts? how much i missed you like fuck. no body knows this and how syerah always asked me how strong i am and how can i move on with life easily... and all i could say was life goes on and i gotta learn to be strong. i'm still asking why. why do you have to do this me? what have i done wrong. where do i go wrong. and after all that happened what do you treat me as? i'm not easy and you it well and how much i trusted you. *sigh* am still dissapointed and sad. i am very sad. i feel like crying now when all the words you said to me was still stuck in my brain it feels just like yesterday you said all the words. now even how much i don't want anyone like this in mylife i don't know why my feelings are so confused and all mixed up. like they say love is blind.
this is the whole reason why i'm so scared of falling in love all over again. and how hard it is to love someone for who he is and to accept that person the whole of himself. is this worth my love? i donnoooooo. i hope my luck wouldn't be this bad in future. seems like it's never enough whenever i talked about you. no matter how he doesnt know how my feelings are i still hope for some day i could know about what's the reason. i hope he's somewhere out there doing great with life even i don't know what is happening. *sigh* im sorrry for this long merepek post but i guess this is just how i could say it out.
good nite people.
Labels: bacin is gone.
whisper from my subtle heart...
2:10 AM
Thursday, July 9, 2009
eh kawan say hi to my latest fav drug. my new boyfriend. teeheee.
hello Mohd Aimi!!
he is the cutest being moving around and making alot of noise in my house and he is the reason i can't wait to reach home.officially he is the one i missed so muchiemuchie!!!! no matter how bad my day is, looking at his smile makes me feel so happy already. i want a baby to myself please...........
he is the cutest being moving around and making alot of noise in my house and he is the reason i can't wait to reach home.officially he is the one i missed so muchiemuchie!!!! no matter how bad my day is, looking at his smile makes me feel so happy already. i want a baby to myself please...........
whisper from my subtle heart...
1:46 AM
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
i had a great time today with my baby sab at sentosa even it was raining at some point of time. we have to wait for the rain to stop before we actually took the luge and sky train. oh meh gawd! it was super fun ah but it was so effing scary lah kan. for after so long i been wanting to go there and here i am. we were like a tourist being approached by the guys asking if we were not local and if we are indo gurls. so funny how they approached when i started to burst out laughing cause from one another people keep on asking us. philiphine also kena. walau. and so i have to wait till that mak nenek gets to pass me all the pictures cause i tell you it sucks when you have outings and u got no cameras in your hand. aku desperate nak camera can anot? i still havent got any pictures from kak ani seh sua lame tau. and when your camera phone sucks when the batt died on me. LG Phone sucks sia. i swear. and thanks again an for today for the another super random lau pa sat meet up. i lioke.
k lah people i need my beauty sleep.
will soon upload my pictures soon maybe if i'm not lazy, that is.
mimpi indah. :)
whisper from my subtle heart...
12:49 AM
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
iiiiii love it when it comes to random meeting. the other day my ex classmates nizam and fadli came over to my shop to invite me to the class reunion this coming week but too bad my cousins are getting married okay. haiz but i really look forward for the another meet up that they gonna plan soon.
today i had a butterfly in my stomach. feeling excited and so nervous. even it was so random, i had a great time with you even for the shortest time. thanks for today an. :D an im still feeling it till now. whhhoosssh. shiokness.
sentosa tmr! yey!
whisper from my subtle heart...
12:44 AM
Friday, July 3, 2009
it has been couple of weeks and i don't know why you still dare enough to come to my dreams. and this has been three straight days i dreamt of you. it's just a dream but i hate it if it's gonna happen. when it always does. like seriously i need a life. i need to step forward and not turning back again. not anymore this time round.
and i don't want him anymore.
not anymore.
cause i realize that i deserve somebody that could treat me right.
not anymore.
cause i realize that i deserve somebody that could treat me right.
whisper from my subtle heart...
12:08 AM
Thursday, July 2, 2009
i think that madagascar really has a problem and i think he's driving everyone nuts or shall i say he's good at it? i hate to hate people you know what else when you started to hate your own blood? esssh. i hate this feeling. i don't know how the fcuk my mom can stand his bullshit all the time. he got a problem everypart of his brain. seriously. for the rest of my 22 years of living with him. i've always have this feelings of hating him. how ? i don't know what he want. i don't know what his motive in doing all this. please lah the more you try to be the konkong dad the one that don't allow us to do this and that go here and there . don't blame me for being rebbellious okay. i can be that but thanks to the women who been there for me eversince forever. when i think of her i told myself that i should stop. aku kesian okay dengan mak aku. i love her forever lah. i feel like crying now okay cause why cause i love her too much. okay ah i kental so what.bye.
whisper from my subtle heart...
8:08 PM
The girlie affair yesterday was awesome moseome ah seh. but too bad no pictures to upload cause both qid and i forget to bring our camera which both of us already reminded each other the day before. ahahaha. so gomblok. i was so excited when dj kzee slot in the song i bust your window by jazmine sullivan in his mixes when i reminded him. lol. so excited that i told everyone about it. and so we dance all night till nad got to take off her heels ahaha yea my foot is aching still but not that bad tho. enjoyed it minus the sickos who acting like they know us and not giving anyone to come near. eeee irritating. maybe we should do this more i want more but of course more ideas to get. *evillaugh* qid lets crack our brains again can? two more days to see my bitches......i can't wait. jgn tak jadi i slap slap ur face.
whisper from my subtle heart...
3:29 PM
